My Story

In the beginning…

It wasn’t a tough decision. I chose to be a Daycare Provider as a career.

I know everyone who gets licensed to provide childcare from their home doesn’t approach it the way I did. For some it’s a temporary choice until their children start school. For others… well, I’m sure there are as many reasons for choosing to become a Daycare Provider as their are Provider’s.

I was a never-married single Mom who had just completed a BA in Child Psychology/Early Childhood Development. When I started college I didn’t have plans to raise a family on my own. I had other plans altogether. I was going to get my degree then go on to Grad School with the goal of someday setting up a private practice working with autistic children. (That was back in the early 70′s, long before one in every 4 children was labeled ‘autistic’ and before there was any such concept as ‘the autistic spectrum’)

Then ‘real’ life happened.

And after taking 8 years to get a 4 year degree and a brief stint working full time outside the home with my two young sons in someone else’s Licensed Childcare Home… I was inspired to start my own in-home daycare.

YES! I chose to become a Licensed Childcare Provider. I said and say this with compassion, pride and a well-exercised sense of humor. It’s not an easy career path. But I LOVED it and as with any work that is lifelong and life-encompassing, I found my equilibrium in it. I was able to be with these children fully and took great comfort from them.

They did teach me to tell the truth… always, so it’s only fair to acknowledge that being with 10-14 children under the age of 5 on a daily basis is truly all-consuming. You can be chewed up and spit out. It’s NOT an option for the faint of heart. Some providers are. They find their houses and their lives are taken over by their daycare in ways that make them and their families feel relegated to one small room of an otherwise comfortably sized house.

THAT was not for me. While I chose to create a very child friendly environment in my home, I love my home and have always wanted it to be an equally comfortable haven for myself and my grown up guests too. So I always had my home filled with things I found beautiful. Yet because those things were not untouchable, the children weren’t attracted to my ‘special’ things and preferred their own.

Yes. For 25+ years other people’s children shared my life and my home and the lives of my three sons. I was inspired daily by them all. Each day I knew, with certainty, that something important took place. Sometimes, of course, it was only that we all survived relatively unscathed. And on those days… that was enough!

Childcare – It’s an idea

I believe what was going on in my childcare home was important… and worth sharing. It, along with my respect and admiration for Childcare Providers is what inspires this blog… but it isn’t all because I’m a woman who ‘romantically’ loves other people’s children. That’s wasn’t really it. I’m no different from any other mother (or grandmother, for that matter), who, to a great extent, can take or leave other people’s children but adores her own. I didn’t get into the work because of some romance… and certainly not because of the ‘big money’. I certainly wouldn’t have stayed with it for decades. And frankly, I’m somewhat suspicious of people who go around saying, “I just love kids, don’t you?” I mean honestly, they’re people… some you click with, some not so much. After all, while they clean up real well and look adorable at times, they ooze strange things from all sorts of orifices and behave simply atrociously at times, and seem to have a powerful knack for sensing limitations and pushing them to the max. (That’s the good news and the bad news! LOL)

Nope… I believe in ideas and curiosity. And I was drawn to spending my days with children and taking extraordinary care with those left to me each day because I believed and believe in that old idea that we can change the way we are in the world through and with our children. We’re not just simply fostering kids here, we’re helping create wonderful adults and if we’re really paying attention, we’re becoming better ourselves along the way. I also had the idea that my being with children in the way that I am, and them being with me in the way that they are, matters. It matters a LOT. I started my daycare out of this belief.

When I started years ago, the world of Daycare was very different. Back then there was little interest, support and knowledge about it. Minnesota was one of the slightly more progressive states yet, different from nursery schools which were primarily for enrichment a few times a week for a couple of hours each day, daycares were used every day by divorced, single, and financially strapped women as a place to leave their children while they worked. One of the problems I ran into at the time is that I had a fulltime job in a hospital working second shift. As a single mother needing childcare for those hours I found myself in a real pinch. So when I first opened my childcare home I offered 24 hour care and included a preschool curriculum. I was before my time. Today Daycares are used by the well-off and the poor, whether the mother works or not. And they have become a national issue and necessity.

27 years ago, like the issue of daycare itself, I was isolated. I assumed too much responsibility. But I set about to change that. So this project I’ve started with this blog is as much about the marvels that happen in daycare homes around the world every day as it is about the process of how I discovered who I was in this work as I defined my own limitations and talents.

It has been a long process. One for which I am eternally grateful. When I began I had three little boys 6 and under that I was raising as a single parent. I had just completed that 4 year degree (which, as previously mentioned took me 8 years), putting myself through college while working in a newborn nursery at the local hospital and I was eager to open my own program. I felt inspired and very prepared for the task. I was also 29 and full of energy and new ideas.

Today, lifetimes later, I’m a grandmother of three in my 50′s with continuing relationships with some of those early children who now are amazing adults (well, in addition to those now men I gave birth to years ago ) and I’m still full of energy and ideas, yet with a much deeper theoretical and practical base. All of these years I’ve studied, sought direction, and developed. I have learned the most from the children who have graced me with those moments of their lives. And I know that at every moment of every day I was doing good work. But in the beginning… I certainly did NOT know this.

I hope you’ll stick around. I hope you’ll share your experiences. Oh, surely you’ll get your fill of my ideas but, more than anything else, I want you to understand the importance of YOU in the lives of the children in your life… and the importance of the children in yours! I want you to understand just how extraordinary your life is… day after ordinary day.

Until later, remember to respect each other, nurture one another and play well together…

I appreciate you.
–Mary K

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